2 years Anniversary!!!

I won't forget what had happened in 2 years ago. I met a person who is important to me on that day. Although in these two years our relationship from stranger to friend, from friend to courting, from courting to be friend again. I felt lucky to have him in my life; As the same time, I felt sorry for what I've hurt him. There is nothing I can do to smooth over my fault. Sometimes I thought if time can go back from the beginning, or go to the spot that I want, it would be very nice. However, I know if it is not happened, I may not know how to treasure someone like him.

Couple weeks ago, I attended a personality test seminar. I understood myself more while I was having the test. The instructor also illustrated other personality type. When he was explaining, I thought about him. Why did I think about him? I don't know, maybe I'd mentioned about him with someone, who is his best friend's fiancée. She told me about her impression to him. She said he always laughing at the end of each sentence. I agreed with her, maybe he is little bit shy to express himself. ^_^ I remembered all the pictures that I took with him, he smile and can't see his eyes. Anyway, I want to say is when the instructor analysis of other personality type. I understand more about why he reacted at the past and how my behavior was affected him. Such as, he is a thoughtful, when he decide something, he will do and carry on. He said something and meant it. He won't say anything just to impress me. It's not an easy job for him to make a move. However, I am quite different from him, I do things emotionally, I can't wait until I think completely. I give up easily. Sometimes I said something may not be really meant it. Therefore I learn to change the way of thinking and talking. I do miss him usually, but I won't let him know now, because it's not the way how he do thing. I will hide my feeling, because I don't want leading by my emotion. And break our friendship.

One time, when I knew he likes a girl from his church, I was so disappointed. I cried and asked why. Of course, I didn't let him know I am disappointed, but he may know that. Couples months later, I asked him did he have the same feeling as me? I expected he would answer me in a positive way, but it's not the case. He always mentioned put trust in God who will prepare the best for him. I understand it and I am learning too.

At this moment, I don't want to ruin the friendship, because we don't know what will happen to us. I know he will not make any move until he is clear about himself and his future. I remembered someone told me 3 years ago, he broke up with me because he could not give me any promise to take a good care of me. Because he didn't know about his career and future. I was wonder is it an excuse. But I understand now, a responsible man want to give his beloved one the best. Therefore I should wait until someone ready and say that to me. Although it seems not likely as my style, I should learn that.

In the past, I always worried that we came from the two different countries. Also our background, culture, language, personalities.......etc, are different. But now I know in God's hand there is nothing impossible. In future, I want to share the testimony with others how God leading us in our relationship.